Образец заданий в разделе “Письмо” (WRITING) на тесте TOEFL с примерами сочинений и анализом

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Добрый день, друзья!

Представляю вашему вниманию примеры заданий для секции “Письмо” на тесте TOEFL IBT. После заданий вы найдете примеры эссе (по 2 для каждого задания), а также их оценки и анализ.

Данный материал я нашел на официальном сайте www.ets.org

Вы увидите, что эссе были оценены на 5 и 4 балла. К сведению, 5 баллов – максимальный результат для секции “Письмо” на тесте TOEFL. После оценки баллы индексируются в 30-бальный результат; например, 5 баллов – это 30 баллов, 4 балла – это примерно 24 балла (однако, это приблизительно).

Итак, ознакомьтесь с заданиями и сочинениями, и будете иметь предварительную картину того, что вас ожидает в секции “Письмо” (Writing) на тесте TOEFL.

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Задание 1.

Вначале вы прочтете отрывок научной статьи, затем прослушаете часть лекции по тому же предмету. Вам нужно будет изложить основные пункты статьи и лекции и логически их связать (например, какие есть противоречия или, наоборот, согласование). Минимальный объем – 150 слов, но практика показывает, что нужно написать хотя бы 250 слов для достойного результата.

1. Read the following passage and the lecture which follows. In an actual test, you will
have 3 minutes to read the passage. Then, answer the question. In the test, you will
have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Typically, an effective response will
be 150 to 225 words. Candidates with disabilities may request additional time to read
the passage and write the response.

READING PASSAGE

Critics say that current voting systems used in the United States are inefficient
and often lead to the inaccurate counting of votes. Miscounts can be especially damaging
if an election is closely contested. Those critics would like the traditional systems to be
replaced with far more efficient and trustworthy computerized voting systems.
In traditional voting, one major source of inaccuracy is that people accidentally
vote for the wrong candidate. Voters usually have to find the name of their candidate on a
large sheet of paper containing many names—the ballot—and make a small mark next to
that name. People with poor eyesight can easily mark the wrong name. The computerized
voting machines have an easy-to-use touch-screen technology: to cast a vote, a voter
needs only to touch the candidate’s name on the screen to record a vote for that
candidate; voters can even have the computer magnify the name for easier viewing.
Another major problem with old voting systems is that they rely heavily on
people to count the votes. Officials must often count up the votes one by one, going
through every ballot and recording the vote. Since they have to deal with thousands of
ballots, it is almost inevitable that they will make mistakes. If an error is detected, a long
and expensive recount has to take place. In contrast, computerized systems remove the
possibility of human error, since all the vote counting is done quickly and automatically
by the computers.
Finally some people say it is too risky to implement complicated voting
technology nationwide. But without giving it a thought, governments and individuals
alike trust other complex computer technology every day to be perfectly accurate in
banking transactions as well as in the communication of highly sensitive information.

 

LECTURE TRANSCRIPT

(Narrator) Now listen to part of a lecture on the topic you just read about.

(Female professor) While traditional voting systems have some problems, it’s doubtful
that computerized voting will make the situation any better. Computerized voting may
seem easy for people who are used to computers. But what about people who aren’t?
People who can’t afford computers, people who don’t use them on a regular basis—these
people will have trouble using computerized voting machines. These voters can easily
cast the wrong vote or be discouraged from voting altogether because of fear of
technology. Furthermore, it’s true that humans make mistakes when they count up ballots
by hand. But are we sure that computers will do a better job? After all, computers are 25
programmed by humans, so “human error” can show up in mistakes in their programs.
And the errors caused by these defective programs may be far more serious. The worst a
human official can do is miss a few ballots. But an error in a computer program can result
in thousands of votes being miscounted or even permanently removed from the record.
And in many voting systems, there is no physical record of the votes, so a computer
recount in the case of a suspected error is impossible! As for our trust of computer
technology for banking and communications, remember one thing: these systems are used
daily and they are used heavily. They didn’t work flawlessly when they were first
introduced. They had to be improved on and improved on until they got as reliable as

they are today. But voting happens only once every two years nationally in the United
States and not much more than twice a year in many local areas. This is hardly sufficient
for us to develop confidence that computerized voting can be fully trusted.

Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they
oppose specific points made in the reading passage.

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Задание 2.

Теперь вам нужно написать эссе на данную ниже тему. Главное условие успеха – побольше, поразумнее да покрасивее!)) Минимум -300 слов. А лучше 400. А времени всего 30 минут. Так что, не расслабляемся!)

2. Read the question below. In a real test, you will have 30 minutes to plan, write, and
revise your essay. Candidates with disabilities may request a time extension.
Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than
excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Примеры ответов.

Задание 1, пример А. Оценка – 5 баллов (максимум).

The lecture explained why the computerized voting system can not replace the traditional
voting system. There are the following three reasons.

First of all, not everyoen one can use computers correctly. Some people do not have
access to computers, some people are not used of computers, and some people are even
scared of this new technology. If the voters do not know how to use a computer, how do
you expect them to finish the voting process through computers? This directly refutes the
reading passage which states that computerized voting is easier by just touchingthe
screen.

Secondly, computers may make mistakes as the people do. As computers are
programmed by the human beings, thus erros are inevitable in the computer system.
Problems caused by computer voting systems may be more serious than those caused by
people. A larger number of votes might be miss counted or even removed from the
system. Furthermore, it would take more energy to recount the votes. Again this
contradicts what is stated in the reading which stated that only people will make mistakes
in counting.

Thirdly, computerized voting system is not reliable because it has not reached a stable
status. People trust computers to conduct banking transactions because the computerized
banking system is being used daily and frecuently and has been stable. How ever, the
voting does not happen as often as banking thus the computerized voting system has not
been proved to be totally reliable.

All in all, not everyone can use a computer properly, computer cause mistakes and
computerized voting system is not reliable are the main reasons why computerized voting
system can not replace the traditional voting system.

Комментарии к оценке.

This response is well organized, selects the important information from all three
points made in the lecture, and explains its relationship to the claims made in the reading
passage about the advantages of computerized voting over traditional voting methods.
First, it counters the argument that computerized voting is more user-friendly and
prevents distortion of the vote by saying that many voters find computers unfamiliar and
some voters may end up not voting at all. 27
Second, it challenges the argument that computerized voting will result in fewer
miscounts by pointing out that programming errors may result in large-scale miscounts
and that some errors may result in the loss of voting records.
Third, it rejects the comparison of computerized voting with computerized
banking by pointing out that the reliability of computerized banking (“reached a stable
status”) has been achieved though frequent use, which does not apply to voting.
There are occasional minor language errors: for example, “people not used of
computers”; “miss counted”; “computer cause mistakes”; and the poor syntax of the last
sentence (“All in all . . . ”). Some spelling errors are obviously typos: “everyoen.” The
errors, however, are not at all frequent and do not result in unclear or inaccurate
representation of the content.
The response meets all the criteria for the score of 5.

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Задание 1. Ответ Б. Оценка 4.

The leture disgreed with the article’s opinions. It’s not a better solution to use the
computerized voting systems.
Firstly, it might be hard for the voters who don’t use the computer so often, or the users
who is fear of the technology, even some of voters can not aford a computer. Touch
screen may also be hard to use for people who is not familiar with computers. Secondly,
computer is programmed by human beings, which means it can also have errors. Instead
of human being’s counting error, which only results one or two counting error in number,
an errror in the program code could cause tramendous error in number. In case of the
computer crash or disaster, it may lost all the voting information. We can not even to
make a re-count. Lastly, our daily banking or other highly sensitive infomation system, is
actually improved as time goes by. They were also problematic at the beginning. As we
use them so often, we have more chances to find problems, and furturemore, to fix and
improve them. However, for the voting system, we only use them every 2 years
nationally and some other rare events. We just don’t use it often enough to find a bug or
test it thoroughly.

Пояснения к оценке.

The leture disgreed with the article’s opinions. It’s not a better solution to use the
computerized voting systems.
Firstly, it might be hard for the voters who don’t use the computer so often, or the users
who is fear of the technology, even some of voters can not aford a computer. Touch
screen may also be hard to use for people who is not familiar with computers. Secondly,
computer is programmed by human beings, which means it can also have errors. Instead
of human being’s counting error, which only results one or two counting error in number,
an errror in the program code could cause tramendous error in number. In case of the
computer crash or disaster, it may lost all the voting information. We can not even to
make a re-count. Lastly, our daily banking or other highly sensitive infomation system, is
actually improved as time goes by. They were also problematic at the beginning. As we
use them so often, we have more chances to find problems, and furturemore, to fix and
improve them. However, for the voting system, we only use them every 2 years
nationally and some other rare events. We just don’t use it often enough to find a bug or
test it thoroughly.

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Задание 2. Эссе А. Оценка – 5 баллов (максимум).

I remember every teacher that has taught me since I was in Kindergarten. If a
friend wants to know who our first grade teacher was in elementary school, all they have
to do is ask me. The teachers all looked very kind and understanding in my eyes as a
child. They had special relationships with nearly each and every one of the students and
were very nice to everyone. That’s the reason I remember all of them.
A teacher’s primary goal is to teach students the best they can about the things
that are in our textbooks and more important, how to show respect for one another. They
teach us how to live a better life by getting along with everyone. In order to do that, the
teachers themselves have to be able to relate well with students.
My parents are teachers too. One teaches Plant Biology and one teaches English,
but that’s not the reason I’m calling them “teachers.” They are teachers beacuse they
teach me how to act in special situations and how to cooperate with others. I have a
brother, and my parents use different aproaches when teaching us. They might scold my
brother for surfing the internet too long because he doesn’t have much self-control and
they need to restrain him. He almost never studies on his own and is always either
drawing, playing computer games, or reading. On the other hand, they never tell me off
for using the computer too long. I do my own work when I want and need to because that
brings me the best results and my parents understand that. They know that I need leisure
time of my own and that I’ll only play until needed. My parents’ ability to relate well
with my brother and I allows them to teach, not just the subject they teach but also their
excellent knowledge on life.
Knowlegde of the subject being taught is something taken for granted, but at the
same time, secondary. One must go through and pass a series of courses and tests in order
to become a teacher. Any teacher is able to have excellent knowledge of their subject but
not all teachers can have the ability to relate well with students.
A teacher’s primary goal is to teach students the best they can about how to show
respect for one another, so teachers use different approaches when teaching, and
knowledge of the subjet being taught is secondary. For these reasons, I claim with
confidence that excellent knowledge of the subject being taught is secondary to the
teacher’s ability to relate well with their students.

Пояснения к оценке.

This essay conveys the idea that as important as teaching knowledge is, it is as
important if not more important for teachers to possess other qualities, all of which the
writer classifies as necessary for being able to relate well with students. Those other
qualities include having “special relationships” with students; the teaching of respect (in
the first two paragraphs); and taking different approaches for different individuals. The
writer develops the last idea primarily by using a clearly appropriate extended and
complex example of the writer’s own parents, who are teachers but whose special
qualities in raising the writer and the writer’s brother had to do more with taking varied
approaches. The writer then goes on to convey that knowledge is a given—“something 30
taken for granted”—because all teachers take course work and pass tests to gain their jobs
but not all have the qualities the writer considers more important.
This response very effectively addresses the topic and the task. It is true that this
response is different from most essays: the overall idea is stated explicitly but only at the
end of the essay. However, because of very good language structure and good conceptual
transitions between ideas, the reader is able to follow the writer’s development of ideas
without becoming confused. The response is thus seen to be well organized. Errors in
language are almost nonexistent here. This response meets all of the 5-level criteria from
the Scoring Guide.

Задание 2. Эссе Б. Оценка – 4 балла.

I disagree with the idea that the possessing the ability to relate well with student is
more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught for a teacher. There
are several reasons why I disagree with that idea.
First, teachers’ job is to educate their student with their knowledge. The ability to
relate well with their student is something a counselor should possess, not a teacher.
That’s why the board of education gives an award to a teacher with an excellent
knowledge of the subject they teach. Teachers who can get along with their students but
have no knowledge can be popular and be liked by his or her students, however I don’t
consider a teacher with no knowledge a good teacher.
Second, Students go to schools because they want to learn knowledge from their
teachers not to get along with their teachers. I knew a math teacher who was well known
among other mathematics teachers. Some students always complained how he never
entertains his students which made many of his students to fall asleep. Nevertheless, all
of his classes were all full even before the semester began because many students who
were eager to learn already booked in. He won the Apples prize (it’s given to a noticed
teacher annually) a couple of times and that enabled students to firmly believe in his way
of teaching.
Thirdly, teachers are responsible for conceding their knowledge to their next
generation. Teachers already had an experience of getting advantaged education from
college. Teachers should not let that previlege become useless and workless. We all learn
because we want to become the better person that this world needs. Students will also
eventually grow up to be influencing other people and teachers should volunteerily be
their students’ role models.
For conclusion, I think the most important quality a teacher must have is an
excellent knowledge of the subject they teach, not an ability to relate well with their
students.

Комментарий к оценке.

This is a more traditional-looking essay that is organized with a point of view in
the first paragraph stating the writer’s disagreement with the writing prompt, followed by
three pieces of supporting reasons and examples.
The second paragraph makes the point that counselors are the ones who are
supposed to relate to students and that teachers with no knowledge are not worthwhile as
teachers.
In the third paragraph the writer tries to describe the fact that knowledge is
important by stating that students wanted to take courses from a teacher who was known
to possess special knowledge even though they knew the teacher was not entertaining.
The fourth paragraph contains the very interesting idea that teachers have the
obligation to pass on what they have had the privilege of learning, but this paragraph in
particular has a few problems with somewhat unclear expression of concepts: (1) errors
of word choice in the word “conceding” (not clear exactly what word is intended here)
and in the term “‘advantaged’ education” (advanced education or advantages of 32
education?) and (2) a problem with unclear connection of ideas (why is it said that “We
all learn because we want to become the better person that this world needs?”).
Overall, this essay is well organized, but the slightly unclear connection of ideas
and the language chosen, especially in the final paragraph, prevent this response from
rising above the 4 level.

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Я надеюсь, приведенные примеры заданий и эссе для раздела “Письмо” на тесте TOEFL с оценками и комментариями помогут вам представить, что приблизительно вас ждет в этой секции на тесте.

Если у вас возникли вопросы – пишите в комментариях.

Если вам необходима помощь преподавателя-профессионала по подготовке к тесту TOEFL  – ознакомьтесь с этой информацией. Я смогу вам помочь:

Подготовка к тесту TOEFL по SKYPE.

Успехов вам на тесте!

Дмитрий

 

 

 

 

 

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